bye forever 2020

WE DID IT. WE DID IT, JOE. WE SURVIVED 2020.

Listen. You are all being very nice and kind and … optimistic … with your “well at least” posts about this fucking terrible 365 days of existence. And, okay, yes, I am going to do a version of that but FIRST, I’m going to say it:

FUCK THIS YEAR.

Fuck 2020 and what it did to our wedding plans, to my best friend’s wedding plans, to my favorite margarita place, to my mental health, to my already gray space of work/life balance (Teams phone app, this one’s for you), to my 30th birthday, to our holidays. Fuck it all, in its entirety, okay?

But, also. Fine. I’m here, I’m healthy, my fiancé is healthy, we have three cats now.

Here are a few very Holly-specific things that were the least awful parts of an awful year.

20 things that were not entirely terrible in 2020

1. Didn’t lose my job. Just adjusted to “working remotely,” which means I got a cute-ass desk and work space that I had been talking about having for the whole time Ryan and I have lived in two bedroom places together. And I also got the worst posture I’ve ever had in my life.
2. Didn’t lose my fiancé. We went from spending most nights on the couch watching TV to almost ALL nights on the couch watching TV. Ryan is the best non-cat pandemic buddy a girl could ask for, and I am only partly saying that because he actually left most days to go into the office, so we were less stuck on top of each other in a 900-ft duplex than many, many couples out there. But also he is pretty chill, more optimistic than me, and always down to go get me a carryout margarita.
3. TO-GO COCKTAILS. The actual beacon of light in this Walking Dead post season three level bad apocalypse. I started ordering so much from my new fave wine place that my best friends got me a gift card and my boss got me some bubbles from there in the same week. I am positive Coast Wine House knows where I live. Also. Can we just. TEQUILA EGGNOG????????????
4. Started a blog.
5. Wrote way more for this blog for whatever reason? Maybe to procrastinate the book I am trying to write?
6. Still got to support my favorite businesses. Got my nails done (in a mask), my hair cut (in a mask), popcorn and Jell-O shots to go (in a mask unless you are seated at your table). We lost some good ones, and my favorite cocktail place in the city remains in a closed, “back in 2021” purgatory, but I spent local as much as I could.
7. Scheduled virtual happy hours. Weird? Yes. Oddly comforting? Sure. A lesson in fine-tuning your comedic timing? Yes.
8. FaceTimed with my sisters. Probably a lot more than we would usually, because in Normal Times, Kayley and I would just hop on a glorious, 1 hour 15 min flight to DC.
9. Didn’t lose our house. Followed quickly by didn’t murder our shitty neighbors. (Yet.)
10. Found! My! Wedding! Dress!
11. Moved the wedding around a few times, but, ugh, it did wind up working out. Stay tuned, people who are invited and sorry if this is awkward for those who aren’t.
12. Jasmine survived a health crisis. My resilient old lady said, NOT TODAY SATAN, which is funny because it is the same thing she is currently saying to her new little sister…
13. GOT A THIRD CAT. Princess Mia. Mia girl. Mia pet. Muh muh muh muh Mia. What an unplanned precious little poof. (She was a little planned.)
14. Played a lot of Sims.
15. Read a lot of books! At least in the beginning. Then I mostly played Sims.
16. The Bachelorette? Was still a thing? It was weird and COVID but it still happened every Tuesday and sometimes as a Monday and Tuesday two-night most dramatic season ever event, and that felt almost normal.
17. Ryan and I had our first-ever and last-ever Thanksgiving dinner together. We’re not breaking up, we’re just never making a turkey again.
18. TWO count them TWO very good Taylor Swift albums.
19. For a small, like, 6-week period this fall, things seemed Slightly Less Bad. And in that timeframe, I got to see my newly! wed!!! best friend and meet her hubs for the first time and we all did Jell-O shots. I also got to spend time with my sister in my adoptive home (DC) and thankfully do a big life thing together (see 10). And then it all went to shit again!
20. Didn’t lose my mind. (Entirely.)

And because I’m a bitch who loves sequels (Spider-Man 2!!!!!!!), here are some things that better fucking happen in 2021 or I S2G.

21 things i would literally kill for to enjoy in 2021

1. My wedding.
2. Getting drunk with my friends (at my wedding).
3. Getting drunk with my friends (at their wedding).
4. Getting drunk with my future husband in public without masks on.
5. Per the last three, getting drunk off more real champagne.
6. Make more money so I can afford to drink more real champagne.
7. Or at least get paid what I am worth. 🙂 🙂 🙂
8. Speaking of worth, stop tying it to my 9 to 5.
9. Keep up (ish) with this blog!
10. Think of more things to say on this blog!
11. Write more, in general.
12. Preferably finishing That Novel.
13. But 200 pages will do.
14. SUCCESSION. SEASON. THREE.
15. Finish Gilmore Girls? While I wait for Succession season three?
16. Or start The Sopranos?
17. Attempt to pet all of my cats at the same time.
18. And get all three in one Instagram post to rule them all.
19. BACK 2 CALIFORNIA.
20. Maybe just, IDK, forget to come back from California? Joking….?
21. More tequila. Always more tequila.

Happy New Year, guys. And please, for the love of god (a woman), don’t caption any of your pics with “this is gonna be the best year yet.” We’re not doing that shit, we’re not cursing this shit. Cool thanks bye.

❤